Ski Trip Video

Ok, this is the last post I'm going to make about the ski trip, but I had to share this vid. One of the S4s made it, and it's totally wicked - I'm so impressed! (Look out for a couple of particularly unflattering pics of me flashing by...) Towards the end John's death-defying tumble is captured on film - he's the speck tumbiling down the mountain. Try not to get distracted by Kirsten stacking it in the forground, but if you miss it, it's repeated several times in slow mo. You know it's bad when you hear Shaun's voice at the end after he's skied past the crumpled heap!

Pila

This is just a quick supplement to the recent skiing recaps. It has come to my attention that while I have rather blithely been referring to things such as 'Chamole', 'The Grimod Bowl' and 'The Laisse Chair', that will mean bugger all to anyone who hasn't visited Pila. And so...in an effort to rectify the situation (and in the delusional belief that anyone who reads this actually cares this much)...I give you...The Piste Map!

Ok...I gave you the piste map, but it's not actually very readable...sorry! I do have a piste map on my shiney new bebo site tho...but that may not be very helpful. I tried.

The Last Run

Saturday morning, 6am, and Beth woke everyone up for a VERY early breakfast so we could be on the slopes ready to start at 9am. Because of stupid boat being in dry doack, we HAD to be on the Sunday night ferry back to Shetland. As a result, we had to leave Italy at lunch time and so would only get a couple of hours skiing in. The kids had the choice to ski or not, and although a few decided just to stay in the hotel for the morning, most headed up the mountain, and I was with them.

All the groups headed straight up the Chamole chair and another massive free-for-all ensued. How no one did themselves serious damage is beyond me, but I was NOT loving it - I felt like I had a huge target on my back as a lot of the kids thought it'd be hysterical to wipe out the teachers. Liam managed it with what I thought was a very dirty trick - he swerved right in front of me and then stopped. I swerved to miss him, and ended up on my backside with my skis pointing in opposite directions. He seemed to find it hysterical - should have just skied right into the little bugger! Cody also managed it a bit later on, but that one wasn't deliberate - he skied right in to the back of me and we both ended up sliding most of the way down the slope on our butts!

We had one last go at the jumps, hung around to watch everyone else try it (most failed miserably - our group was definitely the best, but I think we'd had much more practise at them) and then we were off again. Away from the other groups and down to the Laisse.

Up the Laisse and, for the first time, we didn't head down towards Grimod, but turned to the left and went down a steep red we'd never been down before. It was distinctly scary but, despite that, or perhaps because of it, it was BRILLIANT! I had a few wobbles, and at one stage I tried to turn too quickly and my ski came off! It took me ages to get the damn thing back on again on the steep bit, especially as my knee was hurting again following Liam's trick earlier on, but I managed, and after that I even managed to pick up speed and keep well up with the group, even overtaking some of the kids! (Naughty, but after a week of being responsible and bringing up the rear I'd been dying to do it!) After the falling-off-ski incident the run went perfectly - it was a brilliant way to end the trip, although I could have merrily kept skiing for much longer.

On our return to the hotel there was a pleasant surprise waiting for us - John had been released from hospital sporting a rather fetching neck brace and with a supply of pain pills for the journey! We quickly found out that the underwear had been much appreciated, but not as much as the excellent treatment which John had recieved in the Aosta hospital. He'd been treated to a bed bath from 4 young nurses, and had been seen by the neurologist who was evidently "a total babe"! It was clear that he was ok, and so the mocking could commence!

John's neck brace did neccessitate a bit of a re-jig on the seating arrangements on the bus. he got moved to the very front because one of the seats reclined right back - this meant that no-one could sit behind him so I got sent to the back of the bus to sit next to the pupils - poor Craig! It was all right really, they're a nice enough bunch, and I actually got a decent amount of sleep. Poor Craig, however, had had two seats to himself on the way to Italy, and this time had to put up with me sitting next to him, prompting the rather genius comment of "For a peerie wife you dinnae half take up a lot o' space Miss!"

I survived the bus journey, and we even managed to get to Aberdeen with time to spare, so got two hours shopping time. Fab!

First Stop: Vision Express to replace the nose pad on my glasses which had broken off at some point on the bus journey after I fell asleep wearing them.

Second Stop: Carphone Warehouse to pick up a cheap handset. I'm still in mourning for my much loved PEBL - I must have fallen on it at some point and the main screen now doesn't work. Fortunately, I'm due for an upgrade soon so the cheap handset will do until then.

And then... Monsoon, Gap (which rather handily was having a sale), Oasis, Accessorize, a quick visit to M&S to use the toilets to change out of minging bus clothes and into new t-shirt and flip-flops, The Body Shop, Virgin, and then...and then...STARBUCKS!!!! To my absolute horror they were all out of both the berry and the mango frappuchinos, but a grande hazelnut mocha with whip went down an absolute treat! As did the 30 minutes of child-free solitude on the standard issue comfy starbucks sofa.

Onto the Ferry, into the shower, on with 100% new, clean clothes, and I was back to feeling human. Dinner, a couple of drinks, and then off to bed where I slept like a rock, although I did wake up very early whic gave me time for another shower. Arrived in Lerwick, returned kiddi-winks to their waiting parents, had just enough time to drop off bags and change, and then...back to school!

The holiday was over...reality bites.

PS: For anyone who is interested, I fully intend to go skiing in the winter and am currently looking for anyoen else who wants to join. Monkeys in the Snow anyone?

The Ski Off...

Ok, so the last installment of my Skiing Extravaganza ended with the delightful Tale of the Nostril Tampon!

Friday dawned, cooler again (I never thought I'd be so happy to see clouds) and with even a hint of snow. The snow never came to anything more than a few rather feeble flankes, but the thought was there, and at least I didn't sweat enough to fill a small swimming pool. We headed up the mountain and went for our first few runs. They went ok (I only forgot how to ski for 20 mins or so, so didn't have too many tumbles) and then, at 11am, came The Ski Off!

All the Aith Ski Groups gathered at the top of the Grimod Bowl, and our instructors briefed us for battle.

This was the Ski Off. This was our opportunity to show off our hard-earned skills in front of everyone else. This was a matter of Pride. Personal Pride. Group Pride. But most important of all...Instructor Pride - woe betide the person who let down their intructor in front of the other groups. Actually, scratch that...the most important thing was Teacher Pride...JD had dropped out early in the week, ostensibly to supervise the walking wounded and the conscientious objectors who didn't want the skiing to ruin their holiday, and John was in the intermediate group, so that left Kirsty and I to go head to head as beginners.

The Ski Off consisted of each person, in turn, skiing down most of the Grimod with all four intructors watching, showing off the very best of the skills we'd learned in the week. The instructors would confer and that night there was to be a presentation at the hotel where we would get our certificates and discover how many stars we'd won.

This was stressful enough, but before that came a 'practise run' - which basically consisted of the entire group (40-odd including teachers) in a giant free for all down the Grimod, all vying to show off as much as humanly possible. Carnage. Needless to say, showing off was indeed done, and I must admit that I was horribly pleased to be able to swoop gracefully past Kirsty, at some speed, as she lay in a heap in the snow half way down the run. I did suprisingly well - impressing Beth who was behind me, until I got to the very bottom of the run. I had right of way, but some dozy bint from another school didn't seem to think so - I swerved, she ran into the back of my skis, we both ended up in the snow, but I think she came off worse! Beth helped me up, I did apologize but all I got was a very filthy look so I left her to the mercies of her friends who arrived quickly. Whatever!

We returned up the lift, posed for photos, and then...the Ski Off Commenced. And it went ok...there were a few fallers, but most people did themselves proud. I was a bit annoyed with myself...I was concentrating so hard on not falling and on keeping myself in the right position that I think I went a bit too slow - I certainly could have gone faster, but I did it, and it went ok, so I was happy.

After the Ski Off there was a palpable sense of relief and everyone headed off in their seperate groups again. And it was incredible...I totally relaxed, and everything came much easier. It was great, I finally started going faster (although still not fast enough according to Gorgeous George!), I had so much fun, and even managed some more flirting with GG. Happy days.

And then we went down the mountain. And discovered that John Jackson, the Maths teacher, had had a fairly horrific fall and was currently in the hospital (having been sent there from the med centre on the mountain) for MORE x-rays because he may or may not have done something horrific to his neck. However, the show had to go on and off we toddled for a trip to the Nike factory in town - discount Nike gear plus an extra interski discount - happy days! We shopped, and then returned to the hotel for a shower, dinner, and the presentations. Oh yes, and on the way from the bus to the hotel I had to visit the shop and look like a total alkie to buy booze for the kids to give to the instructors. Most got some sort of wine-present combo, but on consultation with Joe and Allan we decided that GG really didn't seem the red wine type, so GG got:
1. A fairly poncy headband from the nike factory (because he had a VERY poncy headband that he regularly wore on the slopes)
2. A tube of hair gel - to ensure a poncy hair style to go with the poncy headband
3. A bottle of Jack Daniels!

Over dinner the call came: John was being kept in overnight to see the neurologist in the morning, and we needed to pack an overnight bag. We got a list, and Michael headed off to pack it - and then needed help because he was totally thrown by the task of finding John's "sleep wear" - which Beth immediately found under the pillow. Duh. We packed up the bag and incuded a quickly made get well soon card, and a matching set of bra and knickers - thoughtfully donated by Kirsty!

After dinner...the presentation. Everyone got a certificate, and got stars, 1 was the lowest, and 4 was the highest anyone in the group got. Most people got 2 stars, and there was then the added bonus of stars, With Merit, or With Distinction. I got 2 Stars With Merit, and I'm very proud of myself! We gave the instructors their presents, and much hilarity was had by all.

We also heard from Rich, the intermediate group, who geve his version of John's fall. And it suddenly sounded a LOT worse than the kids had made out - possibly becasue John had been moving too quickly for them to make out much more than a blur! According to Rich, John went past him at a truely frightening speed, tried to turn and went over, performed roughly 8 cartwheels and landed in a motionless heap. Rich skied like hell to get down to him, apparently thinking that there was a good chance he'd killed his first client, and arrived in time to see that John was actually moving. Just. Rich assured us that it was genuinely the worst crash he'd seen, and we all suddenly became very aware that John had been an INCREDIBLY lucky man to have walked away from it.

How d'you ski again?

Thursday dawned, cooler (hurrah) and, thankfully, hangover free. I headed up the mountain, full of hopes of a great days skiing - it had all been going so well on Wednesday afternoon...surely it would continue to do so. No, turns out skiing doesn't actually work that way.

Once again, we went straight up to Grimod (and this time I didn't want to spew on either of the gondolas!), and began preparations. It started well on the areas we'd skiied yesterday. And then...I forgot how to ski. Seriously. I forgot how to ski - it is the only possible explanation for the hour or so which I spent mostly on my arse, falling over at every available opportunity. It was just embarrassing. I blame Gorgeous George. He kept on telling me off for going at the end (I was meant to be at the back in my role as 'teacher'...) and for not going quickly - apparently I was good enough that I should be going faster. So I tried. And then the falling commenced. And the falling didn't stop. It was horrific. Fortunately, the idiocy passed, at least until the afternoon when I had a 30 minute or so relapse. The falls weren't especially horrific, more entertaining and embarrassing - especially the one when the only thing that stopped me sliding the ENTIRE way down the run was the snowdrift gathered by my ass, but damage was still done. At some point in the day I twisted my knee (actually, I think it was a series of small twists...) and by the end of the day I was feeling less than chipper.

This lack of chipperness was not helped at all by the fact that I was dehydrated, having given the majority of my water to idiot children who hadn't had the sense to refill their bottle at lunch, and one idiot child in particular who was convinced that she'd broken her pinkie in a fall in which she "almost died". My arse. I must confess to having very little sympathy to start with, but fortunately my lack of sympathy was echoed by other adults when we rejoined the main group at the end of the day and it was decided that no, a trip to the med centre for x-rays really wasn't required.

A hot shower and a nap back at the hotel (not to mention the several nurofen and litre of water which I necked) helped my mood considerably, and after dinner I was fully prepped for the Tournament of Tournaments! AKA Bowling Night: Teachers vs Pupils! The Team to Beat was widely considered to be the S4s, but, contrary to all expectations, and despite the best efforts of Beth & I to totally scupper all hopes, the Teachers came from behind to thoroughly trounce the pupils. It was actually kindof beautiful... And largely due to the innate competitiveness which seems to surface in all PE teachers at even the whiff of some sort of sporting challenge.

The night was improved upon when one of the S2s, against all the odds, succeeded in one of those giant-claw-type machines and won a huge Scrat (the funky squirrel-type beastie with the acorn from Ice Age). However, this was somewhat counteracted by a slight medical emergency in the form of a MAJOR nosebleed that kept me confined to the toilet trying to stauch the bood flow for about 45 mins, and ended up in a trip to A&E for Beth and poor unfortunate pupil who then had to spend the rest of the trip with what can only be described as a tampon shoved up her right nostril.

PS: As something of an appendix to the Tale of the Nostril, on Tuesday morning I was greeted by said pupil bouncing across the classroom shouting "Look Miss, look! It's out!!" Something I was equally glad about and responded to by bouncing up and down, grinning hugely, and repeating "It's out, it's out!!" in a spectacularly professional manner!

Best hangover cure ever!

Wednesday was another scorcher, not helped by the fact that I was feeling distinctly hung-over after an unintentionally drunken night before with the other teachers - I wasn't the worst, by any means, but the gondola up to the mountain was not the most fun in the world. The smaller gondola up to the higher slopes was even worse - it was chock full of people, hot, smelly, and juddery. Nor did I feel better when Gorgeous George spotted my hung-over and nauseous state and proceeded to rip the piss. Bloody students. It did help when he 'fessed up to being equally hungover tho! (Although tragically we had achieved our hangovers entirely seperately - school trips blow!) Professionalism in practice and a shining example to the pupils from both of us, I'm sure you'll agree. (Carried on later in the day on another Gondola ride when we set about discussing the finer points of Pub Golf - something a couple of the pupils found particularly fascinating!)

I started feeling a whole lot better once out in the fresh air and we prepared ourselves for the first run of the day. And it was here that I discovered the best and most immediate hangover cure in the world - a trip down the mountain to the med centre with one of the pupils in your care! Talk about instant sobering and adrenaline kick! On the very first run of the day, one of the girls in my group was injured in what can only be described as the most pathetic excuse for a fall ever. Crapness of fall aside, she managed to do something to a ligament in her knee which required a call out to Piste Patrol, she was skidooed down the mountain with me frantically trying to keep up on my skis because I didn't have a scoob where the med centre was. And obviously this was the day that I didn't have my mobile on me so couldn't contact any of the other teachers. Against all the odds, I managed to keep up with the skidoo and reach the med centre without having fallen - I was EXTREMELY proud of this fact - and waited with said pupil while x-rays, etc were taken. A damaged ligament was diagnosed (after the x-ray count for the trip was raised to 2) and I then spent an hour and a half with her at the bottom of the mountain, sunbathing - how glad was I that I'd had the foresight to shave my legs and put shorts on under the salopettes! Fortunately, Kirsty and some of her group were sitting the day's skiing out so I was able to rejoin my group after lunch. (see picture for walking wounded!)

Upon rejoining them, however, I discovered to my horror that in my absence they'd progressed from OK to really rather good - they were onto parallel turns and everything. I had a major flap, convinced I was utterly behind, but GG took me to the side and caught me up. By the end of Wednesday it really felt like everything was starting to fall into place. Foolish, foolish Nyssa...

Staying in a vertical position

I LOVE SKIING!!! That's right - you read it - I love skiing!

Got back from the school ski trip to Italy yesterday - still ABSOLUTELY shattered - and it was totally brilliant. I was having serious second thoughts prior to departure, not least because I was convinced I was destined to break something (I'm sure many remember the mountain-boarding - broken tail bone debacle of last summer...) but no - I was actually not half bad. After I spent the first two days failing miserably to do anything terribly usefull of course.

We left on Friday 6th for the overnight boat to Aberdeen where we met up with our coach - home for the next two days. That's right, two days on a coach with nearly 40 teenagers, driving from Aberdeen to Italy, somewhere near the Swiss border. THAT was fun - especially as Kirsty and I got the short straw and had the crappy seats right at the front of the bus with no leg room. We finally arrived at lunch time on Sunday; tired, bad tempered, stiff, and probably not smelling too great either. What I didn't realise at the time was that smelling bad was going to be something of a theme for the week. We met our Rep, picked up our ski gear, and FINALLY arived at the hotel mid afternoon. One shower and a change of clothes later, and the world was a much nicer place. Especially as it was glorious sunshine and all the teachers headed out for a walk in the sun and then hit the pub - again, a theme for the week.

The Teachers: JD, Michael, Kirsty, Beth, John, Me

Food, wine, and a good night's sleep later, Monday dawned, again in glorious sunshine. We headed up the

mountain and were introduced to our instructors - and the week suddenly took a dramatic turn for the better. My group's instructor was Gorgeous George, a 21 year old student from Loughborough Uni (I have no idea if that's the right spelling...). All I have to say on that is...WOOF! I just about managed to contain my drooling long enough to introduce myself, but not before several of the pupils had twigged, ensuring much amusement for the rest of the week as they hissed "Miss Anderson fancies George" at various points.

The Instructors: l-r Alex (aka Fitty McHotty), Rich, Georgeous George, and Carolyn

The remainder of Monday was then spent trying to learn the basics: getting skis on & staying in vertical position, snowplough on a non-existant slope & staying in a vertical position, stopping & staying in a vertical position, getting skis off & staying in a vertical position...pretty challenging stuff. None of which was helped by the fact that it was baking hot and our ski-suits felt roughly akin to having 15-tog duvets draped all over our bodies. I have never sweated so much in my life...until Tuesday.

Tuesday we were still on the basics but were getting a bit of speed and managed to move onto turning. This caused a lot of problems initially, but by the end of the day things were looking up and most people had got the hang of it. Things were starting to make sense and I was beginning to think that maybe this trip wasn't quite the worst idea I'd ever had in my life. At least until we got back down to the rest of the group and discovered that one of the fourth years in the intermediate group had broken his collar bone, thus starting our x-ray collection.
My Ski Group

l-r Hannah, Shelley, Gorgeous George, Joe, Matthew, Allan, Robbie, Cody, Frances, Paddy, Ashley, Me.