I got the results of my recent WOMBAT. I only got an A...and I'm honestly disappointed.
I'm disappointed becuase I only got an A in a made up exam, based on the fictional world of an adolescent wizard.
What the hell is wrong with me?
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Monday, June 25, 2007
Friday, June 15, 2007
His Dark Materials
I'm really rather excited about the film coming out in December of The Northern Lights that's coming out in December - even if they are insisting on pandering to the American audience by calling it The Golden Compass - pah!
And now the trailer is available, I'm really excited. It looks brilliant - although I am starting to become concerned that they've changed it...hmm...
And now the trailer is available, I'm really excited. It looks brilliant - although I am starting to become concerned that they've changed it...hmm...
Promotional Wombats
Okay, that title is a bit of a tease - the Wombats and the Promotion are actually two different issues.
So first...the promotion...
An open-air production of Love's Labour's Lost in St Alban's in which the rather talented Nalini Chetty features as Katherine. Nalini reckons that Katherine "doesn't say a huge amount, just falls in love and wafts around stage" but I'm sure she does it well! (I have been trying to get the LLL Flyer up, but for some reason Blogger doesn't want to do it...if I can manage it, it will go up!)
Tragically, I won't be able to go see the play, as it's on between 19th and 27th of July, and I shall be in Australia. Anyone who does go, however, do please let me know what you thought...
Next..Wombats...
Or Wizards Ordinary Magic and Basic Aptiude Test to those uninitiated Muggles. Basically...it's for big Harry Potter Geeks like me to see just how much of geek they really are. Now, I've previously got deeply excited about WOMBATs, and today I sat the WOMBAT Grade Three - the final, and hardest, of the WOMBAT tests. It evidently appeared on J.K. Rowling's Website a couple of days ago, but as I'm not quite sad enough to check it every day, I didn't know about it until today. So I sat the test - and you know what, it was HARD! Unlike earlier WOMBATs, this one wasn't as reliant on mere fact recall, and required far more extrapolation based on what we know of the Wizarding World at large, from History of Magic - how we all wish Harry had paid more attention in Professor Binn's classes - to Politics, to DADA*.
As soon as the results are out, I shall let you know if I've continued my relatively high standards (O and E so far). Of course if the very worst happens and I get a T for Troll...I shall delete this post and deny all knowledge! And until then, I'm waiting for the always thorough Lexicon to come through with their post-WOMBAT analysis in which I should get a rough idea of how I did with my guesswork!
*And by the way...I'm sure that JK Rowling, or which ever minion she got to write the WOMBAT used the Lexicon in composing their questions...
So first...the promotion...
An open-air production of Love's Labour's Lost in St Alban's in which the rather talented Nalini Chetty features as Katherine. Nalini reckons that Katherine "doesn't say a huge amount, just falls in love and wafts around stage" but I'm sure she does it well! (I have been trying to get the LLL Flyer up, but for some reason Blogger doesn't want to do it...if I can manage it, it will go up!)
Tragically, I won't be able to go see the play, as it's on between 19th and 27th of July, and I shall be in Australia. Anyone who does go, however, do please let me know what you thought...
Next..Wombats...
Or Wizards Ordinary Magic and Basic Aptiude Test to those uninitiated Muggles. Basically...it's for big Harry Potter Geeks like me to see just how much of geek they really are. Now, I've previously got deeply excited about WOMBATs, and today I sat the WOMBAT Grade Three - the final, and hardest, of the WOMBAT tests. It evidently appeared on J.K. Rowling's Website a couple of days ago, but as I'm not quite sad enough to check it every day, I didn't know about it until today. So I sat the test - and you know what, it was HARD! Unlike earlier WOMBATs, this one wasn't as reliant on mere fact recall, and required far more extrapolation based on what we know of the Wizarding World at large, from History of Magic - how we all wish Harry had paid more attention in Professor Binn's classes - to Politics, to DADA*.
As soon as the results are out, I shall let you know if I've continued my relatively high standards (O and E so far). Of course if the very worst happens and I get a T for Troll...I shall delete this post and deny all knowledge! And until then, I'm waiting for the always thorough Lexicon to come through with their post-WOMBAT analysis in which I should get a rough idea of how I did with my guesswork!
*And by the way...I'm sure that JK Rowling, or which ever minion she got to write the WOMBAT used the Lexicon in composing their questions...
Saturday, June 09, 2007
Reasons Why...
Back Pain Sucks...
Oh, let me count the ways...
1. It hurts.
2. You can't move.
3. Other people cannot appreciate just how much it hurts.
4. It hurts.
5. There is NOTHING you can do to make it better.
6. Everything else in your body hurts as a result.
7. You end up walking like you have - a quote from one of my oh-so-sympathetic pupils - "a dildo shoved up your ass".
8. It HURTS! (The back pain - not the dildo up the ass. I don't have a dildo up my ass. I've never had a dildo up my ass. I wouldn't know if it hurt or not. I'm going to stop this train of thought now.)
9. It can be remarkable tricky to pin-point exactly what you did that caused the pain.
10. Because you can't move, it takes 10 times longer to do anything at all.
11. IT REEEEAAAALLY HUUUUUURRRRRTS!!!!!!
Yeah...so...I hurt my back at some point during the canoing/swimming/jumping fiesta of fun on Tuesday, and when I woke up on Wednesday, I could hardly move. Seriously. Not cool.
It was the School Walk on Wednesday, and I was meant to be on it - I dressed the part, thinking it might ease off, but by the time I got to the staffroom I was almost in tears - and I pretty much did start crying when Ginny and Eileen spotted me and asked if I was ok. It's weird - why is that you're fine, and then as soon as someone asks if you're ok, you start crying? Eileen instantly sprang into mum-mode, bustled off to Jim and informed him that I wasn't walking. I felt gulity, but I wasn't going to argue.
So I spent Wednesday in school, doing stuff that needed doing but didn't require too much physical effort. Like finishing my reports - hee hee! I did spend a fair amount of time wandering the hall ways - if I stayed still too long I totally seized up. Fortunately, JD wasn't walking either, so I harassed him for a while, and I went down to the hall to watch the concert that a couple of the Primary classes did - it was good - part of a workshop/outreach thing-a-ma-jig by the Scottish National Orchestra. And I had the office ladies checking on me - they seem to have semi-adopted me as a poor motherless bairn and as soon as they found out I'd hurt my back they were all for driving me to the doctor, then home - bearing in mind it's about 30 mins each way from school to home, that's a kind offer. I was tempted, but I declined - something they only permitted after I solemnly swore that if the pain got worse I would come and tell them, and if it was no better in the morning I would go myself and not come to school.
After school I paid a visit to the chemist for the strongest painkillers he would give me. I took a double dose - naughty, but the only way I was going to get any sleep. On Thursday I seriously considered calling in sick and going to the doctors, but it was a bit better, and the new timetable was starting, so I figured I'd better go in.
I'm now feeling a lot better - I can actually go up and down stairs without wanting to cry, and I have about 80% normal movement back. And I've only taken one of the uber-painkillers today, although I will prob take another one before I go to bed. I probably should see doctor about it, but there's not a great deal they can do apart from refer me to a physio...and as I'm already on a huge waiting list for my wrists, I don't really fancy joining another one for my back. Dontcha love the NHS?
Oh, let me count the ways...
1. It hurts.
2. You can't move.
3. Other people cannot appreciate just how much it hurts.
4. It hurts.
5. There is NOTHING you can do to make it better.
6. Everything else in your body hurts as a result.
7. You end up walking like you have - a quote from one of my oh-so-sympathetic pupils - "a dildo shoved up your ass".
8. It HURTS! (The back pain - not the dildo up the ass. I don't have a dildo up my ass. I've never had a dildo up my ass. I wouldn't know if it hurt or not. I'm going to stop this train of thought now.)
9. It can be remarkable tricky to pin-point exactly what you did that caused the pain.
10. Because you can't move, it takes 10 times longer to do anything at all.
11. IT REEEEAAAALLY HUUUUUURRRRRTS!!!!!!
Yeah...so...I hurt my back at some point during the canoing/swimming/jumping fiesta of fun on Tuesday, and when I woke up on Wednesday, I could hardly move. Seriously. Not cool.
It was the School Walk on Wednesday, and I was meant to be on it - I dressed the part, thinking it might ease off, but by the time I got to the staffroom I was almost in tears - and I pretty much did start crying when Ginny and Eileen spotted me and asked if I was ok. It's weird - why is that you're fine, and then as soon as someone asks if you're ok, you start crying? Eileen instantly sprang into mum-mode, bustled off to Jim and informed him that I wasn't walking. I felt gulity, but I wasn't going to argue.
So I spent Wednesday in school, doing stuff that needed doing but didn't require too much physical effort. Like finishing my reports - hee hee! I did spend a fair amount of time wandering the hall ways - if I stayed still too long I totally seized up. Fortunately, JD wasn't walking either, so I harassed him for a while, and I went down to the hall to watch the concert that a couple of the Primary classes did - it was good - part of a workshop/outreach thing-a-ma-jig by the Scottish National Orchestra. And I had the office ladies checking on me - they seem to have semi-adopted me as a poor motherless bairn and as soon as they found out I'd hurt my back they were all for driving me to the doctor, then home - bearing in mind it's about 30 mins each way from school to home, that's a kind offer. I was tempted, but I declined - something they only permitted after I solemnly swore that if the pain got worse I would come and tell them, and if it was no better in the morning I would go myself and not come to school.
After school I paid a visit to the chemist for the strongest painkillers he would give me. I took a double dose - naughty, but the only way I was going to get any sleep. On Thursday I seriously considered calling in sick and going to the doctors, but it was a bit better, and the new timetable was starting, so I figured I'd better go in.
I'm now feeling a lot better - I can actually go up and down stairs without wanting to cry, and I have about 80% normal movement back. And I've only taken one of the uber-painkillers today, although I will prob take another one before I go to bed. I probably should see doctor about it, but there's not a great deal they can do apart from refer me to a physio...and as I'm already on a huge waiting list for my wrists, I don't really fancy joining another one for my back. Dontcha love the NHS?
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Something I never thought I'd do...
Today I did something that I CERTAINLY never, not even in a month of Sundays, thought I would do while living in Shetland. I went swimming. In the sea!
I was wearing a wetsuit, but it was still BLOODY BALTIC! It's Activities at school this week and today I was off on Outdoor Ed - which today involved canoeing around Lerwick and having a bit of a swim. Oh, and jumping into the sea off rocks of various heights. The highest was about 20 feet high - can't believe I did it! There was a definite "oh my god oh my god oh my god" moment at the top, but...there was only one way down...and it was wicked! Loved it, even if it was scary as hell. It was also cool seeing Lerwick from a totally different angle from usual - I had no idea there were all these cliffs and caves and stuff - brilliant. It's also always nice to get out of the classroom with the kids. It's a totally different dynamic and it makes a difference once you're back in class with them, even if it is only a grudging sort of respect that you actually plucked up the courage to do the big jump, or disappointment that you jumped it, rather than needing the shove that they so kindly offered to provide!
My feet have now finally regained most of the feeling (putting on nice clean warm clothes at the end of the day was pretty close to orgasmic, I have to admit), but I'm totally shattered and my back hurts like a bitch. I'm sure it'll be fine in a day or two, but it's the school walk tomorrow and it might be a bit interesting, in a painful sort of a way. And I still haven't finished those bastard reports...
I was wearing a wetsuit, but it was still BLOODY BALTIC! It's Activities at school this week and today I was off on Outdoor Ed - which today involved canoeing around Lerwick and having a bit of a swim. Oh, and jumping into the sea off rocks of various heights. The highest was about 20 feet high - can't believe I did it! There was a definite "oh my god oh my god oh my god" moment at the top, but...there was only one way down...and it was wicked! Loved it, even if it was scary as hell. It was also cool seeing Lerwick from a totally different angle from usual - I had no idea there were all these cliffs and caves and stuff - brilliant. It's also always nice to get out of the classroom with the kids. It's a totally different dynamic and it makes a difference once you're back in class with them, even if it is only a grudging sort of respect that you actually plucked up the courage to do the big jump, or disappointment that you jumped it, rather than needing the shove that they so kindly offered to provide!
My feet have now finally regained most of the feeling (putting on nice clean warm clothes at the end of the day was pretty close to orgasmic, I have to admit), but I'm totally shattered and my back hurts like a bitch. I'm sure it'll be fine in a day or two, but it's the school walk tomorrow and it might be a bit interesting, in a painful sort of a way. And I still haven't finished those bastard reports...
Monday, June 04, 2007
The bane of being a teacher
It's that time of year. There's no avoiding it. You can run. But there is no where to hide. Like a nuclear powered GPS missile tuned to target your DNA, they WILL find you. 
That's right...report cards! Teachers everywhere are finding things to do that have merrily sat unlooked at for months but now, right this minute, they must be done. Hoovering? Essential. Ironing? Absolutely must be done. Alphabetising your DVD collection by Director then cross-referenced with Producer and Genre? The fate of the free world depends upon it. Stock-taking the English cupboard and putting the books into some vague parody of a sensible order? Well...maybe not that far!
However hard you might fight against it, there comes a time when you just need to suck it up and get writing.
I'm at that stage now, and I can feel my life force ebbing away. Methods of procrastination are screaming out to me - like this blog, for example. I have played Suduko. I have caught up on my emails. I am itching to organise my DVDs (perhaps not by director, cross-referenced by producer and genre, but still). But...they need to be written.
And so I am tackling that timeless challenge faced by teachers the world over. Exactly how many different euphamisms are there for "Your child would require a divine act of providence to reach the dizzying heights of idiocy."? Or perhaps "X is not achieving their full potential. Tesco are fairly unwilling to hire shelf-stackers who cannot yet spell 'Tesco'."? Or, my personal favourite, and the one I am currently trying to resist the urge to write: "Y is a gobby little shite and is a monumantal pain in my arse. I am counting the hours until I can palm him off on the next poor sap who loses the annual departmental dance-off and so is consigned to the seventh circle of hell, otherwise known as class 4B. I have been practising my moon-walk especially. Frankly, I think it a huge pity he was not drowned at birth, I daily mourn the passing of corporal punishment, and I shall be forwarding the bills for my summer's residential psychiatric treatment to you forthwith." Do you think writing that would be considered a bit TOO blunt?
Righto...suppose I'd better get back to the buggers, especially if I plan on getting any sleep tonight...
Ooh...Big Brother's about to start...
Saturday, June 02, 2007
On the Wagon
I know I've said this before - several times, in fact, but I really REALLY mean it this 
time. For the month of June, I am on the wagon. I've been thinking about this for a long time, and I've decided that a pre-Australia, bikini-preparation detox is required. And so, I am stepping up the prep from just gym visits to full blown, on-the-wagon, detox. And everyone is free to remind me of this as and when neccessary - probably next Friday night for example, when I would usually crack open the 'I survived another week' bottle of wine!
Of course, the timing does work out nicely so I can disembark from the wagon fresh as a daisy for the end of year work outing! But for the next 4 weeks...
"Rolling, rolling, rolling. Keep those wagons rolling..."
time. For the month of June, I am on the wagon. I've been thinking about this for a long time, and I've decided that a pre-Australia, bikini-preparation detox is required. And so, I am stepping up the prep from just gym visits to full blown, on-the-wagon, detox. And everyone is free to remind me of this as and when neccessary - probably next Friday night for example, when I would usually crack open the 'I survived another week' bottle of wine!Of course, the timing does work out nicely so I can disembark from the wagon fresh as a daisy for the end of year work outing! But for the next 4 weeks...
"Rolling, rolling, rolling. Keep those wagons rolling..."
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