Living in Isolation

I'm two months into life up here in Shetland, and most of the time I find I've come to terms with life on a small island at the edge of the world. I've accepted that roughly 90% of the school population are related to each other in some way (and that includes teachers, office staff, cleaners, dinner ladies and jannies - so basically you have to be VERY careful if you're planning on mouthing off about any of the pupils!). I'm fine with the fact that it is physically impossible to go to one of the two supermarkets without seeing, and having to stop and speak to, at least one person you know. I've come to terms with the fact that there are just not that many places you can get drunk, so, as with the supermarket, you will meet people you know - and pretty much the best you can hope for is that they're in a worse state than you. It is a fact of life that living on a small island, and teaching in an even smaller hamlet, means that absolutely everyone knows all that there is to know about your life - as evidenced by the fact that yesterday the lovely woman who cleans my classroom asked me how long I was going to New York for in October! (Oh yeah, I'm going to New York for a long weekend in October with Maria. As you do!)

Despite all this acceptance, however, there are times when I am forcibly reminded of all the things I'm missing. My major bugbears as far as this is concerned is TV adverts mocking my isolation from the amenities which those living on the mainland take for granted. By this, I particularly mean trailers for movies that I can't go and see (there's only a cinema in Shetland one weekend out of every month and they only show three out of date films!) and the food-porn with which Marks and Spencer titilates my tastebuds. Seriously - there is no M&S closer than a 12 hour boat ride - STOP ADVERTISING UP HERE! Today, however, it was not food-porn or a film trailer. It was not a Starbucks craving (although a grande vanilla mocha with whip would have gone down an absolute treat this morning before school). It was not even the fact that the disease-ridden children I am surrounded by all day have given me a bitch of a cold and I feel like my head is going to explode and there's no way my granny can come and bring me soup. No. What got to me today was reading through my mate Chloe's Blog.

Chloe's blog is really quite entertaining, and it keeps me up to date in my isolation with many of the cultural events of London. I have no urge to ever live in London, although I do like visiting, but reading Chloe's blog today reminded me of many of the things I'm missing about Edinburgh. Things that I usually take for granted. Living in Edinburgh, I tend not to visit the various museums and theatres as much as I probably should. I take total advantage of the ability to shop whenever I so choose. Most of all, however, one of the things I most love about living in Edinburgh is how easy it is to get everywhere else.

Chloe's blog reminded me of this today. In addition to details about a current production at the Globe and a Holbein exhibition, Choe's recent exploits include a Monkey Gathering in London. And early excitement at the Monkey Cottaging Extravaganza which is taking place in November. This is, in fact, Monkey Cottaging Extravaganza II and I am GUTTED not to be going. I was Monkey Cottaging Extravaganza I, I slept in a tent for Monkeys Go Camping, and if I was still living in the Burgh of Edin I would most definitely be back at the Cottage. Unfortunately, getting from Shetland to Wales for a weekend is just not do-able during term time. Gutted. My only hope is that I can convince the Primate Pride to come north for Monkeys Go Wild in Shetland! Hmm...if it wasn't for the extreme drunkeness, sexual innuendo, gratuitous nakedness, blatent homoeroticism and steady stream of obscenities that follows them, the Adventures of the Monkey Massive could almost be a series of successful children's books...

Alas, however, I'm in the wilds for the foreseeable so must kiss goodbye to Gibbon Grabbing, Rheusus Romping, and all other forms of alliterative Monkey Love. A Happy Belated Birthday to Jik, Jimbob and Jarvis, and big love to all Monkeys everywhere.